dear J, it's been 1 year and 7 months haven't seen you in real life. well.. physically, i meant.

this morning you sent me an email at 3:25 am, just one hour after our favorite song by Monday Math Class, 2 am.

such a sweet email you gave me, brigthen up my crappy morning since i couldn't sleep pretty tight.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey

this is the email you gave me, right J?

remember i called you at 1 am, we were really fucked, maybe you forgot this once happened. i called you and i didn't know what should i do at that moment. should i tolerate you or should i be pissed at you of what you've done to yourself. but that was your call, i get it. someone out there would have been in your position, maybe worse or even better.

but at that moment we didn't cry. we just... kept ourselves in silent and we were just too fucked to talk things out. no, we never have a real big fight because it'll be super hilarious to have one.

remember my birthday? you called me first and we were laughing and we were blabbering like we used to bahahaha. sad i couldn't call on your birthday since you were in KL/spore, i forgot. but sure you did have fun, aitee?

i just wish we'll have one day at Riry's house, sleeping over, just the 3 of us laughing for nothing because that's what we always do, gossip people around or go online and laughing at those internet hipsters.

and i know i'll do good in my major since you once told me that "it wasn't that hard, you can do it." despite all the fucked ups time of your assignments, you still can support me in some ways.

and now it's 8:30 am and i'm blabbering, i don't even give a shit about my grammars.
oh yes, me and J are too perfectionist we have to make things right in our task.


so much love to you J, come back home soon.


x

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